I recently had a conversation with a woman who I see quite often out here and to say the least it was moving. We started off talking about work and life at our current location. She’d been contemplating a medical procedure and wondered what my thoughts were on the subject. I gave my opinion and also advised that she try to do as much as she possibly could without any actual procedures. We then got on the subject of confidence and here’s where my day completely changed. We’ll call her Ms.G and I’ll share a small portion of our conversation below:
- Ms.G: I love your natural hair and when I see you, you look so confident with it. I want to be confident like that about my hair. I’m natural but never really wear my hair out (as she points to her wig).
- Me: First, thank you for the compliment, but let me say that it’s taken me years to get my hair to this point. Second, I’ll be honest with you, I’m actually a bit insecure when it comes to my image, hair, and body.
- Ms.G: You, insecure, no way.
- Me: Yes, I am. Not all the time or about every aspect, but definitely enough to want to improve upon myself. I don’t have it all together but I do what I can to work on getting there.
Ms.G looked at me as if she couldn’t believe what I was telling her. The discussion went from our weight goals to how we feel daily on an emotional level. She reminded me that I am beautifully and uniquely made by God, a fact which I would never disagree on, but I told her she needed to remember that same fact. I asked her to do more research before she decides to move towards any type of medical procedure to change her physical appearance. I then went on to tell Ms.G that in my opinion, gaining confidence regarding your appearance takes time and patience; whether it’s your natural hair or your physical & mental fitness/health, in the long-run it will be liberating and quite rewarding to know you did it on your own, naturally.
There was so much more to our conversation reference confidence; how we grew up, the images we were exposed to (positive or negative), beauty standards within our community, and even what men think/want vs what we assume they think/want, and whether we should even care (lol). To say the least we chatted for over an hour about or personal perceptions versus what others see and we agreed to keep each other motivated and updated regarding our progress.
I say all of this to address how different our own reality can be and not always reflect what others perceive it to be. I may exude a particular amount of confidence but trust and believe, I deal with my own deep-seeded insecurities everyday and have to give myself pep talks and self-love sessions when I’m not feeling my most awesome.
Alright, enough on my end, what about you? Where do you stand on confidence? Do you think your level of confidence matches what others see?
Before you comment or share this post, do us both a HUGE favor; take a minute and give yourself some love and a big hug. Address your insecurities, whatever they may be, but don’t let them rule you.
Remember, No matter what chapter you’re in on this life’s journey, no one else can be you.
Take the time to EMBRACE ALL OF YOU